My Magic 8 Ball has been surprisingly accurate and consistent of late. I hear you, Timmy. Punch God in the face for me while you’re up there, but I hear you, mister Universe.

This part of my life is called Being Angry.

4:29
Well I made it 4 and a half hours…

3:45
I feel as though I’m a good brick layer. This bucket of mortar is so inviting…

3:30
I was wondering why the Magic 8 Ball was so consistent the other day… guess it was right.

3:25
Goldfish crackers are swimming in my Coke drowned belly. Just keep swimming, fishies… just keep swimming.

3:17
Oooooooh I have a crap load of tequila in my house. Hmm… could be dangerous! Good thing I hate being hungover so much.

3:14
Because 3:14 is always lucky… I just need to say… I AM NOT A PUSSY! Nor have I entered into any kind of ball. I WIN!

3:11
To prove that I have accomplished the first part of my instructions for the day (Have a little hope) — what do I do if it DOES work out? I have not encountered this situation before. How do I act? How do I feel? Seems to be that the tables will turn and it’ll be on me to get over stuff. Hmmm… I can already feel myself being resigned and cynical (sorry, Nicole)… how do I get beyond that? Hmmm……

2:58
Nearly three hours!
I can’t believe she said she’d quit with me. She’s gonna let me quit? Huh. Is this reverse psychology?

2:36
Feeling so overly dramatic that now… it’s funny. Landmark exercises work. God does not.

2:32
Yeah, not done with You. Like…. SERIOUSLY? You wanna throw shit at me my ENTIRE life? I mean… does that work for you? Did I get the shaft in the big draw up in Heaven or something? “Oooooh here’s a good, let’s f*ck with her her entire life.” Yeah, nice work, Pal. Big. Fat. Jerk. And to top it off, You piss on my friends too. What is your DEAL dude? You wanna have a go, Big Man? Bring it. Why don’t you send another lightning bolt. I’m bigger than your shit.

2:31
Side note: Thank You for music… at least I can drown You out with it, ya Big Jerk.

2:28
Sorry, but F-ck You, Dude. The more I think about You the more angry I get. I don’t need You.

2:26
You wanna know why I don’t believe in You? This is a really good example. What the hell did I ever do to you? You wanna teach me a lesson or something? I mean, honestly, I think you coulda gone a different route on this one. Whatever dude, talk to the hand. You got a book full of broken promises. And yea, I’m gonna stay mad at You on this one. Sorry, Pal.

2:25
135 was my previous goal. I really think I can get to 125. I think I can get there in a week. Aw yeah. It’s like having the flu. Benefits to everything.

2:11
I am stronger than this.
This will not kill me.
I have a happy life.
I have an abundant life.
If I knew nothing of permanence, I would be worse off… take the bad with the good…
I am in charge of my feelings.
I am in charge of how I react.
I am in charge of how I live my life.
I am the captain of my own crazy boat.

2:02
HA! Two full hours of productivity. Nap time?

1:29
You sneaky bastards. I see how this works. You never count on the thoughts coming round to the part where they start projecting the future with other people in it, living happily ever after, and not you. Ok ok ok… I got this… I know how the brain works… I know how to deal with this… lemme get it…. I got it I got it I got it…

1:24
“I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make it, gotta make it, gotta make it through
Said I’m gonna get through this
Im gonna get through this
I gotta take my, take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I’ll be alright
Surely one more moment couldn’t break my heart
Give me ’til tomorrow then I’ll be okay”
1:03
I got it I got it I got it… I know I got it. Not always easy to find… but I know I got it.

12:46
Falling Down
“Once was a man who consumed his place and time
He thought nothing could touch him
But here and now it’s a different storyline
Like the straw he is clutching

Why has the sky turned grey
Hard to my face and cold on my shoulder
And why has my life gone astray
Scarred by disgrace, I know that its over

Because I’m falling down
With people standing round
But before I hit the ground
Is there time
Could I find someone out there to help me?

Howl at the wind rushing past my lonely head
Caught inside its own motion
How I wish it was somebody else instead

Howling at all this corrosion

Why did the luck run dry
Laugh in my face, so pleased to desert me
Why do the cruel barbs fly?
Now when disgrace can no longer hurt me

Because I’m falling down
With people standing round
But before I hit the ground
Is there time
Could I find someone out there to help me?

You see I’m falling down
With people standing round
But before I hit the ground
Is there time
Could I find someone out there to help me?
I don’t know…. Why… “

12:42
Who knew the last episode of TNG would be so damn relevant in life? It was about Ted, then… Jesus… such a long time ago.

12:39
Hmm… I know this place. I think I see some of the decorations I put up the last time I was here… I got out before. I’ll get out again. Maybe I’ll leave myself a note this time, though.

12:38
“I’ve got promises to keep… and miles to go before I sleep… and miles to go before I sleep…”

12:35
Joey! I’m doing it! I’m winning! I got hope! I’m not in a ball! I’m not a pussy!

12:26
Rich, you’re awesome. Hehehe…

12:23
Christine, I will always keep my promise to you.

12:13
Who knew Akon could contribute to helping? It’s been music, a lot of times, that pulls me out and makes me happy. Thanks Akon.

12:09
I’ve taken two naps already. Ghetto.
“These streets remind me of quicksand
When your on it you’ll keep going down
And there’s no one to hold on too
And there’s no one to pull you out
You keep on falling
And no one can here you calling
So you end up self destructing”

I think you know your good friends by the people in your life who can tell you the truth to your face (or via email) and don’t sugar coat it… the kind of truth that makes you pause, take a look in the mirror and learn something about yourself. And I think you can tell if they’re *really* good friends if you care enough to learn whatever it is you learn from that truth… instead of just brushing it off and returning to the way you used to be.

Thanks, friend…

What is it about sports coaches that is so inspirational?

I did my P90X workout today at the gym and then thought I’d hit the pool to cool down. That and… well let’s not kid around, I love swimming! So I get in the pool and found that my arms were literally jelly and I could barely lift them out of the water for each stroke! Then I see my swim coach walking around the pool and I was all of a sudden filled with a new kind of energy… the desire to do a good job for the coach… the desire to push myself a little bit harder… and BAM!… my arms lifted up a bit higher and I busted out a few more laps than I had originally planned.

Whatever it takes, I suppose. I just love the drive, the ambition, the go-get-em-tiger sort of feelings that sports coaches inspire in life… yea for coaches!